Having been in the “alternative environment” for over 20 years, I have been exposed to some different yoga, tai chi, chi gong and meditation, and have used some yoga earlier in periods. Some forms created joy, space, and opportunity, while I completely met the wall in other forms. For a period around 2005-2006 I used yoga quite actively, though in moderate forms. Some rounds with sun greetings every day and some deeper stretching. Then came periods with toddlers and a lot of night watch, and all yoga came to a halt. Tough years economical, and laborious tough years at the top of there, and I really got to experience from inside what stress, tension and lack of rest can do with a body. I was physically wrecked. Luckily, the meditation had been going on, so the mind was well trained, but physically I was completely out driving.
The first leg of the way back was, for various reasons, Kum Nye. Tibetan exercises for body and mind. For me, very tough, static exercises that train body and mind in a unique way, and which build a lot of mental endurance. It did enormously on many levels, deep self development in physical form, but was also very tough and static. I longed more and more for the long stretches of yoga, after giving me over, letting the body open … – and the answer was Yin Yoga.
The body was a stiff, injured bird when I started, and the psyche was characterized by tough years, but gradually the softness returned, in body and mind. No revolutionary spaghetti softness, but a gradual opening from within. A surrender to the body’s own wisdom and resources, rather than just going on with the will. It was good for both body and mind. There was more room inside, more softness. Not just physical, but just as much psychic. And, more peace and joy.
An acute isjas and prolapse at the end of January 2016 completely put me out of the game. First, complete passivation in some completely beyond intense pain. So a gradual improvement of something, while others, that the prolapse remained. Something it is still 6 months later, and still characterize everyday and capacity. But, it has given me some unique opportunities and insights. I’ve had to meet the body completely and completely from where it is. Not where I want it to be. Doctors, neurologists and hospitals have not been able to give any recipe, only that some movement is good, completely sitting down is the worst, at the same time movement can worsen. So with their blessing and own exploration I have been traveling in myself. What creates what? Where is my body today? What can it tolerate? What does it want? What is doing well today? It is not always deleted the same as yesterday or the day before ..
The Yin Yoga I practice also contains some vinyasana – flow in motion, and beyond this course, this part has become stronger and stronger. There are still days where there are the long stretches that are the key, yet others where the Kum Nye’s strength is the focus (though with some modification), but the theme of flow has also become clearer. Movement in itself, and not least the movement coming from inside, prana that moves the body. SO in line with my tantric background. It is lovely to go, let the body move from within. Float on the flow. And while I do, the body is nourished, the mind is flowing, the possibilities are opened.
I’m still limited by the body. Still, I have to listen intensely. Still, it is much the body needs to meet in order to heal and regain its flow. But, I have the tools, I have the room and I listen. I learn every day intensely, and get more and more respect for this sub-body, and for the interaction of body and mind.
Static, meditative strength provides endurance, presence and insights.
Deep stretch and surrender, provide an opportunity to rest in life, into the resources that reside in body and mind, to know what is greater than you, nourished and see other opportunities.
And the movement in breath and flow, creates flow, flexibility in body and mind, opportunities to navigate with more agility and openness, and breaks down static resistance and negative control.
So this is my journey. From flow, strength, and relative softness (which I then really didn’t realize I had), through tough years and stresses to a state of wrecks, and then the way back. Gradually, listening – silence, strength, surrender, softness, flow and movement. All part of the same. Everything as important. In their unique portions.
And all parts strengthen important qualities in both body and mind.
I’m not a rubber band, and maybe I’ll never be. I am neither slim nor slim or vegan: I am myself, in my body, in the midst of everyday life, where yoga (and its like) wonders for body and mind.
Perhaps you will not be slimmer, get your dream body or become rubbery, but you will definitely get it better. If you listen and let old wisdom about body and mind and the wisdom of your unique body go hand in hand, it is quite amazing what can happen.
Good journey to you, on your journey … <3